yo thanks a bunch for clicking on this. You’re a star and I like you a lot

It’s been quite a while since we last chatted via WordPress, my dear Internet. You look great, by the way. Yeah my bad about the whole who-I-am-as-a-person thing. I posted Part 1 of my Words4Food blog series This Is Me Typing LITERALLY two months ago. Holy quadruple Moly. I am absurd.

• You should have only had to wait like a week max for Part 2.
  • lol I know you’ve been really upset.
  • Calm down I’m here now.

There honestly was like a 50/50 chance that after Part 1, I could have completely ignored this blog for the rest of my life and thus maybe never have chosen to sit down and type this right now.

• lol I’m just kidding
  • am I?
    • ha
• EITHER WAY does it matter? Because we’re together now. Right here. Right now. I’m glad we’re doing this. Can we just get to the good vibes now? Sweet.

Sheesh. I feel like that was just a lot. Definitely was a lot. Not really sorry about that though. I just have a lot of thoughts stored up and I’m rea-DAYYYY to give them to you. I know you’re ready too.

I know we hang out on Instagram and Twitter all the time, but we both know it’s not the same there.

• Too much scrolling… not enough alone time for the two of us to really bond and get to know each other.
  • Yes, Internet. I’m going to mentally court the crap out of you. You won’t be able to resist reading these rants and you won’t understand why. I’m going to woo your will with my words. Just wait and see.
    • You don’t need to make any commitments. Let’s just take it slow. One word at a time
      • I kinda feel like J-Biebs right now serenading you in Spanish (but in English: a blog version of the sentiments behind the lyrics to Despacito. Look it up. It’s both relevant and heartwarming)

So on that note, I wanna tell you how my life’s been since we’ve last virtually embraced each other. You cool with that? Of course you are. You’re so easy-going. Love that about you.

First thing’s first, I have exciting news.

I’ve finally decided that I’m probably going to look into the idea of possibly though not exactly likely getting a fish.

• …because I can’t afford a dog
  • but I think I might honestly really need to care for a life that’s not mine.
  • I had a beta fish in college. His name was Mervin and he was wonderful.
    • He made his own whirl pools and just spun around in his lil’ fish bowl. It was fantastic. Nobody would believe me when I talked about it, except then sometimes a non-believer would witness Mervin and all his adorable spinny glory and they’d be like woah you weren’t kidding!!
    • …and I’d be like ya. And then they’d feel bad. Mervin was great.
• My best friend killed Mervin when I was on vacation.
  • She feels bad. We still talk about it sometimes when we’re drunk.
  • it’s fine it’s just a fish
  • it’s just.. a fish

In summary: I want a pet, but I also don’t want to emotionally replace Mervin.

• …and also I don’t have many dollars. You see my dilemma here?
  • My *many a dilemma

I’m going to move on from this rant now. I’ll keep you updated as this particular strife passes. lol I’m sure you are very concerned. Thank you, I feel validated.

Onto the next update.

Post-grad life has been particularly aggressive lately with the life lessons and whatnot.

• One of those lessons is that I actually really enjoy sitting still.
  • I have sat down and watched sooooo many movies recently, dude. That’s honestly new for me. I used to have a lot of trouble with paying attention to things for extended periods of time.
    • …that’s why I taught myself how to knit when I was in 7th grade
  • So yeah recently I’ve been actively reminding myself to chill tf out. It’s been going well.
• I’ve also learned that I heckin’ love movies/television way more than I think I’ve ever allowed myself to admit throughout my 22 years of life.
  • For instance, I saw Blade Runner with my brother and it was superb.
    • We spent a lot of dollars to see it in a 4DX theater (like 3D but on steroids)
      • I’m not usually the one to encourage such superfluous expenditures but hOly mOLY so worth it.
  • My roommates and I keep a list of movies we want to watch as a family on the wall of our living room. So far we’ve checked off a few:
    • Interstellar
      •  I feel like no matter how many times I watch that movie, it always finds a way to tear my mind apart and then lovingly put it back together in a new way. It’s agonizingly wonderful.
    • The Maze Runner (and the second one)
      • Isn’t it a shame that the really hot actor in that series broke his face? Like literally broke his face. So heartbreaking. His face was a lovely one. I would have liked to touch it at some point. Oh well.
        • The face-breakage happened like over a year ago apparently though. I imagine he’s all good now. So maybe there’s still hope for me and all of my face touching hopes.
          • This sounds creepy and yeah I do not think I care.
            • 🙂

… I forget what I was originally talking about before this bullet point rampage. Okay. One moment please. Reviewing.

• AH. I was giving examples of lessons I’ve learned from post-grad life. Okay. Lesson number three: I have anxiety issues.
  • LOL just kidding I’ve known that for a very long time. Post-grad anxiety is definitely a slightly different flavor though.
    • Less pressure about grades.
    • More pressure about surviving financially/locating purpose(s) in life.
      • Yada yada.
  • One of my main goals for this blog is to talk about mental health as honestly as possible. I want to exude all of the inter-webby friendship vibes.
    • Lately I feel like I’ve noticed an influx of sad stuff. People have so many sads and I feel like we need to talk about them more. I want my blog to be a resource for anyone in need of reassurance that everything is literally going to be fine, even if everything feels like it is most definitely not fine.
  • Subjectivity is relative. I’ve learned this incrementally. I’m still learning. I think we all are.
    • For instance I’ve been thinking a lot about the power of cognition. That sh*t’s intense.
      • Think about it. We each see the world through our own mental lenses. One’s own perspective can change, depending on which particular shade of grey is chosen to look through. Unfortunately though, I think it’s easy sometimes for one to forget about the ability to choose. Rumination is literally so real. I think the trick might be to just call yourself out on it and actively decide not to allow negative thoughts to cloud your current judgement.
  • Recently a good friend of mine reminded me that every day has to start with making the decision to begin something.
    • … and I was like wow k you right you right.
    • lol remember that time it took me two months to write my second blog post?
      • wait yeah that’s now
        • my bad
      • I’m going to be better for you, Internet. Please don’t give up on me.

Okay let’s switch gears now, okay? No more post-grad lessons. I think three has been quite enough for the time being. Basically all the information I just communicated was that since college ended for me, I’ve learned how to not let anxiety convince me that sitting down and relaxing should be perceived as wasting time.

• There’s this thing called mindfulness meditation that I think you should look up
  • … because sanity

Anyway. Let’s talk about something else.

I want to tell you some fun facts about myself.

• okay Fun Fact #1 – I don’t really have an actual “job title” in the writing world yet. Right now, I just picture the description as sounding something like…

• Kira:

  • Writer of words sometimes if they somehow sit still and play nice with each other
  • Look-upper / read-abouter of fun facts
  • Friendly voice of the internet

… yup, that just about sums it up.

• Fun Fact #2 – You’ll learn over time (or perhaps you’ve already become very much aware) that I find fun factual information to be the most effective mode of communication.
  • …especially when feeling unsure about how small-talk works.
    • Awkward silence? Ask for a fun fact. OR simply throw out an unsolicited one. If the receiver of your words doesn’t appreciate the knowledge, then this person is clearly not your kind of person and you should run away from them immediately.
    • • Get thee to an environment where you can locate more suitable friendship to converse with.
      • I think this is an appropriate time the mention that I’m a huge fan of quirky humans. If you’re unapologetically yourself, especially if you’re a frickin’ weirdo in all of the most glorious ways, you are indeed my favorite.
• Moving on. Fun Fact #3 – I recently moved from Delaware to New York.
  • I know you know this because we talked about it on Instagram that one time.
    • Ugh I love all the memories we share together. You’re great.
  • So this fun fact relates to my above statement about appreciating various levels of quirkitude.
    • Is ‘quirkitude’ a word? It is now.
  • I live in New York with one of my best friends who I believe happens to share with me an inclination to exude unapologetic weirdo-ness.
    • She and I have encountered a plethora of fun facts since having moved in together. She teaches me things; I teach her things; we learn things together. It’s all wonderful. A synergistic cycle of randomly relevant information constantly buzzes under our lil’ roof, and I personally think that’s a pretty nifty life we get to have.
      • For instance, if you were a fly on the wall listening in on the conversations had in our home, I guarantee that you’d hear the subject change at least 23 times within a 5 minute period. Later on in retrospect, you’d likely have trouble attempting to piece all of the random snippets of thoughts together into some sort of sequential sense.
        • That’s not your fault. I don’t think most people would just naturally flow from talking about mythology to discussing the possible whereabouts of John Mayer’s appendix within such a limited time frame.

Okay I think that’s enough fun fact bullet points for now. I need to wrap this up. I need to publish this blog post already. I have “revised” this rant over 26 times according to WordPress.

• EggghhhGhhhghghH.
  • ^ that’s how I feel inside when I catch myself being an avoidant trash person.

I don’t know what’s up with my apparent distaste lately for doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s weird. Since I posted This Is Me Typing: Part 1, I’ve tried so many times to get myself to sit down and finish Part 2. Like this very moment, for instance. (lol heeeey)

• Writing on the actual draft page makes me feel slightly itchy sometimes. I’m aware that this literally makes zero sense.
  • Like right now I’m typing on a Microsoft Word document and I’m just gonna copy and paste these thoughts onto the draft page and you would never know unless I told you!! Which I just did!!
    • I want us to have an open relationship like that.
      • This is real. This is me.
        • Do you hear OG Camp Rock Demi Lovato singing in the back of your head right now? Because I did that on purpose.
          • Demi Lovato is an actual superhero and I’ve been TRYING to tell everybody that since I was an awkward middle school kid who wore zebra skinny jeans and studded belts.
        • SPEAKING OF DEMETRIA, that brings me back to one of the first things I talked about in this post. I told you I watched a lot of movies this month. Demi’s documentary (Simply Complicated) on YouTube was one of them. I most definitely high key recommend that you watch it right this instant.
          • If you haven’t watched it yet wtf dude go stand in the corner
            • jk don’t do that I love you I’m sorry for yelling I’m just really excited.

I’m trying really hard right now not to get distracted by all the things I want to type. I have so much more to say, but I think it’s all going to have to wait until This Is Me Typing: Part 3 becomes a thing.

• dun dun dunnnnnnnnn
• How long will it take me to post a THIRD blog post? We shall see.

Our bond’s gonna be so genuine, Internet. It’s going to be just you and me, bebeh.

• I’m trying out new nicknames to express my affection for you.
  • LMK if you’re not into it. See? Communication. That’s why we work so well. You’re the best.
• This thing we’ve got goin’ on between us right now… I think it’s going to be even greater.
  • The word symbiotic sounds like a pretty decent descriptor, if you want me to get a little graphic for ya. I write dis stuff. You read dis stuff (and share it via social media if you’re feeling extra spicy). We can grow in fun facts together or idk see where it goes. I have a lot of ideas.

I think it’s time to say goodbye for now.

• This calls for a firm high five. As I’ve told you before, I value high fives.

One last thing before I go. I miss being in college sometimes. Right now isn’t one of those times… because final exams are currently a thing for a lot of people. Oy.

•  That brings my mind back to approximately a year ago. I was in the library. My eye was likely twitching, due to all of the caffeine in my veins. I was super stressed, so logically instead of studying, I chose to write another article for Odyssey.  It was called: A Letter To My Dog Before My Last Final Exam.
  • I felt better after getting all of those emotions out.

Okay now I’m really going to stop typing.

• Ready… set… go.
• 🙂

Talk to you soon, Internet. Love you babycakes.

– Kira

©Words4Food

Share this post: on Twitter on Facebook on Google+